"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything."

- Someone


Life after Awakening


That is my family in the photo above. In a way, right there they are living the absolute awakened life. Take a look. Sitting in the sun, drinking coffee, and eating fresh baked buns. It is so simple and natural, like a piece of wood floating down a wide stream that has cut the forest in half.

Being awake is not something I identify with. For me, this was just so obvious after the thoughts vanished and personal biases and fixations disappeared. As I could clearly see how reality got constructed, I could just as clearly enjoy the moment. Like my parents and grandparents above, I enjoy my moment. Whatever arises. And I am fully conscious of my empty center at all times. Not even a center of happening. Just pure emptiness.

What does a realised life look like?

Well, in short it happens in a blink of an eye. Much faster. It is an ongoing flick of sensations and all happens right here.

Let`s play the game again!

I wake up in the morning around 7, drinking a fresh brewed coffee in the bed and looking out of the window. My girlfriend gets her own cup, and she lies next to me and reads a book or get up at look at our aquariums. I tend to close my eyes again and just notice. I get up and sit down at my chair in the window in the living room and close my eyes some more, reading a book or contemplate with another coffee. I then start to do the practical chores. Optimizing the apartment, enhance the website and changing it to the “new me”. I tend to explore the mind a lot. Contemplation is so fun! 

I look at places in my life that no longer works and needs to be optimized or "killed” or matters that holds me back from growth in that aspect of life. I constantly have awareness on the mind. But during some mediations I let go of everything and do insight practices. If the "I" is acting up in giving me a shitstorm I will find concentration and look it up. In my want of finding the cause the cause will automatically arise into awareness. I`ll lock the charge, the sensation, alone completely in awareness, get a "complete feel of it" and then let go of the holding and just gaze at it. The seeing is piercing it to the root cause by simply holding awareness on it, and then it will come up to express. Maybe I`ll start to cry. Maybe I`ll start to shake. Maybe laugh. Whatever is arising, I am letting it express on distance. Like a child having a deep negative act in front of me, I will simply look at it and let it do it`s thing. Discharge.

I work further on the webpage, or work on expanding existing ideas to a more fitting role. Expand and materialize a sincere vision. I have a forest of plants in my apartment and aquariums, so I use a few hours here and there to clip and trim, water, repot and nurture them. I usually eat in silence. Not looking at anything, just eating to the view. I go for slow walks. I love to do grocery shopping every day, seeing what is tempting for my body and what I feel like eating today. I was a Hot Yoga teacher before the Corona, so I`d use to teach here and there. Finishing that off with a long and hot shower drinking coconut water. I might sit down feeling the epic sensation of water on me. One of my favourite things to do in life is to open the fridge, take out an ice-cold cola or Pepsi max lime, and chug half of it right away and ending with a satisfying and loud burp with a smack of the tongue at the end. One other favourite thing to do is to shower. Oh my god. Showers. Running water on my body is a sensation that fills my heart.

I cook with my fantastic and very childish girlfriend, and then we usually eat in silence or bullying each other for fun at the dinner table. We are like two kids; yanking the pants down or up, slowly and with eye contact pushing personal belongings of the table, messing up her side of the bed, turning off the light when one is in the bathroom, closing her laptop, just standing there looking at her for 10 seconds just to fart out loud. She is a cartoon, really.

We also take the food to the TV and watch a dedicated series or playthroughs of "Souls-Like Games" on YouTube. We really enjoy take-outs, and we try to always aim for something new. We love McDonalds and eating kebabs, just as much as we love eating healthy salads.

We tend to go to bed together, but I really enjoy the silence and comfort of the night. I can sit in a meditative state and simply observe what I am doing with the company of a candlelight and doing concentration exercises. I fucking love to do "Samatha Jhana". I stare at the light for about 20 seconds, close my eyes or keep them open and watch immensely beautiful figurines, shapes and behaviours appearing, while simultaneously training concentration. I love concentration. It is helpful in every aspect of my life! 

And sitting in the dark with a candlelight is so peaceful. After that, I close my eyes and watch my concentration fall and I vanish into silence. I go to bed.

Two times a month I go out into the forest with a tent and my close and absolutely amazing friend, making camp and cooking for hours. We take long walks, swim, throw axes or knives on tree chunks, talk deeply about life, or being utterly silent for hours. Farting and burping like crazy, which is especially funny to break the silence with, and ends with childish laughter. Which I also do with my girlfriend. Either way is good.

We do this also one night every week with no sleepover. Just making food, brewing coffee and listening to the bonfire until late hours.

I simply love to go to bed. Laying there and just looking at me and being. There is just nothing to say about anything. Peaceful.

Now, that looks a lot like a very normal life of a very normal human being! No explosions. Just life.


Let us get one thing straight. I am bald but I am not a monk. And you are probably not one either. You are most likely like me, growing up with the rise of technology, where the common experience among your friends was to get together and play video games and have sleepovers with shitloads of candy and soda. Playing board games. Looking at porn and laughing. Sometimes not laughing at all. Going to the shore and jumping from high altitude into the water, doing stunts and trying to impress the girls. Driving recklessly on the moped. Drinking so much red bull to stay awake your eyes almost pops out. Watching South Park. Smoking weed and watching Borat, crying in laughter with the mouth full of chips. Travelling to far distances on the planet to explore, going on holidays with your friends where the goal was to drink and get laid. Relaxing at the beach.

Having depression and hating life. Having anxiety and can`t do more than three mundane things each day. Having stress so severe your heart is beating as fast as a hummingbird. Having restlessness. Feeling like a failure. Looking at others and wishing you had their life. Trying to fit in through educational systems. Having big doubts about your current life situation. Questioning it. Seeking social acceptance to shadow self-acceptance. Trying and trying and trying, looking, and looking and looking. Experiencing. Learning.

What I am in the moment is all I am. I am what I am. I am whatever is. Notice I don`t "have" anything. I just am what I am. And "am-ness" don`t include "have-ness".

Everything you think you are, is a brutal lie. A smokescreen. False. Do not exist. Going further, “That” will remove the "am-ness", the "I", and settle you in absolutely nothing. Which is complete enlightenment. The Full Circle.

You are a human. Having human experience. That includes ALL the above, and so much more. The imperfect is the perfect and striving for perfection is such a waste of time and will end in judgement of yourself. This is hidden through severe indoctrination in your culture. As well as mine. “The perfect picture” is not real. It is impossible to achieve. And your path is to delete everything and rebuild yourself in the face of the authentic. Is authentic perfect? No. Authentic is true to self. No matter what. Complete acceptance of whatever arises when it arises. Like light coming through a glass, as experience coming through you. Does the glass stop the light and grab a hold of it? No, that would be silly.
Again, tread carefully. Be mindful. If you are ending up in Nothingness, then there is nothing you can hold on to. Nothing to be kept, nothing to be, except being. 

Be "Actual-Realistic" and look at the end goal.

If you are to cut down a tree you don`t trim the branches. Those will grow out again. You go to the root and rip it up right away.

​Beliefs you have created by online sources and books, friends and so on is not going to cut the root. That is "branch-cutting". When we think of Enlightenment or Awakening, we usually also think of a Buddhist monk sitting in an orange robe being completely at peace and mindful. The glamorous picture of serenity. Well, that`s a great thought! A thought.

Accepting everything as it arises requires no thoughts.

The reason I am writing all of this is to make you understand that you do not have to be someone important, or someone gifted, you absolutely do not need to meditate for 10 years!!! Whoever said that is speaking from tradition. How many ways are there to skin a cat? Infinite ways! The one that says this is the only way is simply one perspective, a facet of a diamond. There are many facets, all of them in which the light will be bent very uniquely, creating a whole new relative reality. Infinity expresses infinity! Why can`t you be one of those weirdly unique facets? Of course, you can!

You know what you need to do. And no one else does. You just have to listen to your own language. We need to stop seeking comfort through spiritual concepts or acknowledgements, stop trying to be someone important, and tune in to yourself. There is only "I". And "I" have no "other". It is just you.

All content is content. Spiritual content is more content. Some might be laid out for you to assist you in the process, but you need to have your awareness on your intuition.

If not, you are putting on a finer cloth, but you are still putting on more cloth. Give up. And notice how this feel.

IT FEELS AMAZING! "Aaaaaaahhhhhh, now I have less weight". 

Awakening is a process of letting go. And letting go hurts. Watch it! Another smokescreen. Only in the beginning does it hurts.

In the face of Full Awakening, there is little to be spoken of. In fact, there is nothing more to say. There is nothing to say.

How can there be said anything about anything when anything and everything is nothing. The language is nonsense. Intellectual discussions are now a comedy.

​I am describing this very directly and very black and white. Cause it is. 

But what happens in the face of the relative when you wake up?

Simple, calm, and conscious living. Whatever that entail.

You will have all of this, but you will not have it at all. Cause that is impossible. Just like winds being thrown through the sails of a ship, the gush of wind is just a gush to be and not to be. Whatever you gain, you let it go right away. Insights are not held. You let it go and it comes up if it is required.

Oh man, the helplessness of enlightenment at its essence. The major paradox. You will come to embrace it with your entire heart.

Letting go is True Love.